“What do you do?”
Four words that can lift the veil on so many emotions within us.
Pride, panic, fear, self-doubt and if we make it to the other side…..contentment.
Our self worth and well being can be dictated by the response to these benign simple four words.
And why is that..because we are clearly NOT what we do.
When I began my business, I had a plan. A good solid plan that my partner and I were excited about and the enthusiasm was through the roof. After 25 years of working for someone I was going to do it my way. I was going to wear all the hats and bear all the responsability.
If you’ve read my previous blog posts, the Universe had other plans.
Fast forward to 2017.
The rock solid plan we had created had melted down to an uncertain vague concept. I knew that I didn’t know much about what this new busines would look like anymore. I was a different person and the old plan didn’t work anymore.
There was much more that I didn’t know, than what I did know. I’d get asked that question and fear and self doubt would creep in and spill over me like a morning drizzle, that was fine and constant and soaked me to the core.
I knew what I liked and what stirred me and what lit my soul on fire.
There were experiences I had been fortunate to have, and when I did the things I loved, the Universe showed up, in a powerful way.
I remember saying things in a meeting with a client and then thinking…”was that me?”
It was mind blowing and at the same time there was a gentle calm that would come over me, and it felt like it was second nature.
On a vacation we had recently taken, we were in a place (that I will NEVER forget) that had stones that were lit by the power of the sun during the day, that glowed in the most magnificent way and which we followed at night to our destination. It was stunning. My partner had ordered some shipped to his office. When I found myself floundering for the answer to the “what do you do” question, early on in the revised version of my business, those stones came to mind. The power of trusting in the Universe gave me the ability to not worry about the “how”, all I had to do was look for the next lit stone to step towards and to follow…and that’s what I did.
The stones appeared (and continue to) in the form of chance meetings with special people, emails, phone calls and more.
With each one, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude, relief and excitement.
This grand awareness is not lost on me, not for a minute, ever.
I had lived much of my career with input that I had a curse which was thinking with my heart instead of my head.
Over and over, year after year I was told it was a blessing and a curse.
Foolishly, I beleived this concept and snuffed out my heart and forced my head to take the lead.
My poor intuition was waiting quietly and patiently for the day when it could take center stage and be the ruler of my actions and my work.
Finally, that day had come.
Today, I still don’t really know the answer to that four word question, but this is what I know for sure.
This is what feels authentic and right.
This is what I love waking up for.
“I strive to offer the very best of me each day, with true undeniable gratitude and hard work to help people in any way I can. The irony is that the more I offer, the more I get back in return.”
Maybe someday I will have a great elevator pitch, but for today this feels so good.
The people that I am supposed to work with have been and will continue to be on my path and in just the right time.
In this moment, which is all we have, it’s all good.
The moral of the story is don’t worry….don’t let “what” you do dictate who you are.
Do what feels like a gift each and every time to you do it. A gift that you never tire of unwrapping and opening to see what’s inside. A gift that gives power and support to you and the people you work along with, long after it’s opened, in ways you couldn’t even imagine.
THIS is what I do.