It was time to make a living.
I had quit a job that I held for over 20 years just weeks before.
The bills were flowing in.
My teeny, tiny baby business for which I had no enthusiasm for, lingered in the back of my mind like an oil change you put off endlessly.
There was no plan.
I did know one thing for sure, it wasn’t going to look anything like what I had originally thought it would.
It couldn’t, because the person that was me, no longer existed.
Now there was before Rick died and after….
I was creating a business and a new life alone, while simultaneously getting to know myself without him as my other half.
There were a few things I knew for sure ~
I had a strong desire to survive, in honor of the most amazing man I had even known and had the privilege to love and be loved by.
There was an intense need to give, serve and support others. I did not know how or who, at the moment.
I also felt that I did not need to know what the future would look like. I just had to keep moving forward, in whatever way felt right.
Day by day, I woke up, got out of bed, removing the covers like a cloak of darkness that enveloped me each night.
I made a call and answered a call.
I sent an email and answered an email.
I planned a meeting and went to a meeting.
I got dressed.
Then I slipped back and didn’t leave my bed for three days.
This was now my life, but there was one very big change.
I was being gentle with myself.
Allowing the inspiration when it came and holding the broken soul as she grieved. From this sacred place, I was able to move through the pain while at the same time immerse myself in it.
The duality of this life shocked me and fourteen months later it still does, but I stood in it then and I stand in it now, each and every day.
In the moment.
I got calls to help people with problems, in life and in business.
I got paid to help them and we faced challenges together. We grew together.
The more I gave of myself, the more I received in return.
My soul became alive. I was so grateful for all the opportunities that were being offered to me.
This baby business was a little seedling and I knew I had to take take care of it with all the love I could muster, so I did.
There was no clear path ahead, but what I was doing felt so right, in my soul. I was nurtured by my beautiful children, my family and friends, who cared for me in ways I could not have dreamed of. The support for my uncertainty flowed like a clear stream that refreshed me over and over and over again.
I faced many obstacles, with people and experiences, but there was an unspoken power from My Love, the Universe, the angels and my earthly family.
The obstacles taught me more about the power of self love and I stepped into all of it and didn’t look back.
Gratitude for the ability to see the beauty and power in the pain brought me and my business to the starting gate.